- Rabbits are the Superstars of Dildos
- Let’s Insert My Prick
- How did that rabbit end up on my Dildo?
- I’m hunting Wabbit… or Rabbit dildo reviews
Rabbits are the Superstars of Dildos
The Rabbit Pearl by Vibratex, was launched into the pop culture icon stratosphere in 1998 during the first season of HBO’s Sex in the City. Miranda introduced Charlotte to The Rabbit in episode 9 “The Turtle and the Hare.” Charlotte loved The Rabbit so much she would not leave her apartment! From novices to sex toy athletes, women throughout the country flocked to the original Rabbit Pearl by Vibratex..
Once Sex and the City broke the ice, the United States was ready for prime time discussions about quality vibrators. Lisa Kogan, the sexpert for Oprah Magazine wrote about her encounter with Vibratex’s Rabbit Habit, “my eyes light on the Holy Grail, the Rolls Royce of sex toys.
Drum roll, please: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Rabbit Habit, complete with strategically placed rotating pleasure pearls, fluttering ears, swiveling head, and varying speeds for both rotation and vibration. This bunny does it all!”
Men whine, “How do I compete?”
The bunny does do it all. It is so effective that men began to worry that they were being replaced. How could they compete with such remarkable devises with their very simple non-pearl-rotating-clitoris-stimulating-rabbit-earless dick? “How,” they whined. Well let me echo the good people at Bableland Blog for thanking Dan Savage for the following:
Dear Dan: I love the wife I married two years ago, but she absolutely can’t come unless she uses a vibrator on herself. She’s asked me to let her use it during sex or for me to use it on her, but I’ve refused. It’s bad enough knowing I can’t compete with that thing without having to look at it.
Let’s Insert My Prick
Now, stop being such a douchebag about this, LIMP, and go ask the wife to show you just how to hold the vibrator and just where to apply pressure so that you-YOU! can start giving her orgasms during sex.
See the vibrator as a tool, moron, not a threat.
Because if being with you means going without orgasms during sex for the rest of her life all because she was foolish enough to marry an insecure bag of slop who refuses to do what needs to be done to get her off then your wife just might decide to be with someone else.
And now an important message for all straight guys everywhere: Some women need vibrators to get off.
Well, perhaps it has something to do with the fact that most of a woman’s clitoral tissues are inside her body; the exposed part of her clitoris is just the tip, comparable to the head of your penis.
Now imagine if the shaft of your penis was buried inside your body, guys. You might need the help of a vibrator to get off then, too; you might need a tool that could stimulate your shaft through layers of skin and muscle and fat.
We’ve been over and over this since the early 1990s, fellas, and there’s no excuse anymore for freaking out about your wife/girlfriend/mom needing a vibrator, OK?
Thanks Dan for helping get the male egos in check… again. Now that we can rest assured that men are not going to be obsolete, let’s takes some time to delve into the wonderful and varied world of Rabbit Vibrators.
How did that rabbit end up on my Dildo?
So what makes the Rabbit Pearl and the Rabbit Habit so amazing?
To answer that question we need to take a step back in time to the Shogun era of Japan. During the area of Shogun it was considered disrespectful to show oneself naked in public. Obscenity laws were passed that restricted the right of the Japanese to show genitals in pornography or through sex toys.
Japan’s view of sexuality should not be confused with Victorian or Puritanical prudishness. The Shogun era was rich with sexual diversity and was extraordinarily open minded.
For example, Samari warriors regularly engaged in homosexual acts with each other. According to Learning from Shogun, Japanese History and Western Fantasy, “In the era of Shogun, available evidence suggests that harikata [dildos] were used primarily for the training of male prostitutes and perhaps for the use of their customers.” It turns out Buddhist monks were their primary source of income.
In an effort to comply with decency laws, dildos began to take on different forms that no longer resembled the original penis shape. Everything from bears, whales, animals, and yes even rabbits were sources of inspiration.
Contemporary law still mirrors the cultural shyness towards public displays of genitalia. Japanese pornography remains pixilated. Dildos can not look too penisy. The restricted rules have pushed Japanese dildo engineering to creative heights that are unrivaled by anyone else.
I’m hunting Wabbit… or Rabbit dildo reviews
Like any masterpiece there are always going to be attempts to replicate the original. Sometimes replications stumble upon renewed greatness, sometimes though, they fail miserably. Today I am going to focus on several of the successes. This is by no means a comprehensive list, so I will update it frequently as new developments are released.
The Doc Johnson iVibe Rabbit
The iVibe is a fantastic peace of human engineering. The sheer size of the thing is enough to make most Rabbit fans marvel.
Doc Johnson doubled the amount of shaft dedicated to the swirling pearl, compared to the Rabbit Pearl and the Rabbit Habbit. The Rabbit ears, designed to tickle the clitoris, are so close together they are touching nearly to their tips.
Doc Johnson removed the rabbit nose for a more sleek and streamlined appearance, but they may have lost some added benefit depending on the preference of the user. Unrestricted by Japanese dildo censorship, the iVibe features a more realistic looking tip.
All of the controls are easily accessible and attached to the base. There are three function settings that vary the movements of the pearls, the tip, and the clit stimulator for different tastes.
There are independent controls for both the speed of the shaft and the speed of the Rabbit. As a bonus, the iVibe is waterproof. The Doc Johnson iVibe Rabbit is a clear winner in the world of Rabbits, and I know you will agree too.
Variation on a theme, the Doc Johnson iVibe Suction Cup Rabbit
The iVibe Suction Cup Rabbit is a good solid vibrator that easily attaches to almost any smooth surface. The suction cup is impressively strong, especially if you moisten the cup with a quick lick.
The rotating pearl beads are positioned lower on the shaft than on the Doc Johnson iVibe Rabbit allowing for more tip wiggle room. The controls are located on a detachable wired remote and feature a simple faster and slower sliding button.
If you love fixing your dildo to a sturdy bench and going to town, the Doc Johnson iVibe Suctions Cub Rabbit will be your best friend.
Spinning pearls not your thing? Try the Love Pump.
Some women would never give up the spinning pearl feature on most other Rabbit dildos, but others find them downright uncomfortable. It really depends on your personal preference and in some cases the size of your vagina.
Smaller ladies tend to find the pearls annoying. If that is your experience you should give The Freezy Stiffs Love Pump a try. There are no beads, only pure rabbit magic.
Freezy Stiff redesigned the clitoral stimulating rabbit so that its paws pack the power rather than the ears. The opening space between the vibrating paws is far wider than the iVibe and slightly wider than the Vibratex Rabbit Habbit. This extra space is perfect for ladies with a larger clitoris, or those who want the stimulators to straddle either side of their clitoris for a mind blowing experience.
Are you looking for something a little more predatory? Then you will love the Panther!
A strong 8.5 inches of purring pleasure awaits you with the Pearl Panther by California Exotic. Designed to pay special attention to your G spot, the Pearl Panther curves slightly upwards while a vibrating panther with frisky paws goes to town on your clit.
With this vibrator you know longer have to decide weather you want to focus on your G-Spot or your clitoris. You can have it all! Vibration and rotation are easily and independently controlled at the base of the Pearl Panther by using the sturdy push button control. The rotating pearl climax beads are positioned lower on the shaft near the pouncing panther for a tantalizing double clitoral stimulation experience. Grrr!
The Punk Rocker
We like to call the Jelly Krystals Humming Arouser, the Punk Rocker because of its singly focused clitoral stimulator that looks like a punk rocker’s mow-hawk.
Most Rabbits take a two pronged approach in the form of ears or paws, but the Punk Rocker is focused and ready to rock your world! At 7″ the Humming Arouser has attached simple to use button controls that adjust both the direction of the shaft’s gyrations and the speed of the vibrations for the stimulator and the shaft.
Sometimes size does matter
Oxygen Network’s Sue Johanson teamed up with California Exotic to bring you the Royal Rabbit. This is by far the best small size Rabbit style vibrator on the market. If you find the larger 7″ or 8″ pearl beaded vibrators uncomfortable, then you will love the Royal Rabbit.
At only 6″ from base to tip, and at most 2″ wide, this is perfect for women with smaller vaginas or for those who are simply intimidated by size.
The Royal Rabbit is also awesome for anal play on both men and women. On men the vibrating bunny ears will stimulate your chode while the shaft teases your ass.
I dare you to combine the Royal Rabit with a male masturbator like the Nite Rider Deluxe with its three speed power bullet. Set the Royal Rabbit to one of its 7 powerful settings and your neighbors will hear you groan with pleasure.
The Rolls Royce of Rabbits
Rabbit Habit by Vibratex is by far the best of the best. Designed by Vibratex, who brought us the original Rabbit Pearl of Sex in the City fame, the Rabbit Habit has women raving around the world.
Not only is the Rabbit Habit an amazing vibrator, but it has a sense of humor only the Japanese could produce.
If you take a close look under the tip of the shaft you will notice a small smiley face and some small pearls. Some might see this pearl necklace as a little cum shot, others might see it as a beautiful adornment to a very respectful smiling lady.
Either way it’s damn hilarious, and is effective enough to pass the scrutiny of Japanese decency laws. Thank vibrating goddess that it does, because without it, the world of Rabbits would be incomplete!